The late Ken Dodd once revealed (in court) that he kept £336,000 in cash stashed in suitcases in his attic. I have two immediate thoughts on this story. First, he is not the only one whose wealth is less than it should be as a result of being incredibly risk averse as cash hoarding is now quite common among both millennials and retirees. Second, the Doddster’s stash pales in comparison to some of the ‘great’ cash hoards of modern times …

5. Bill Gates

The second richest human on earth holds about $6 billion of his $90 billion wealth in cash. Some advisors recommend holding 5% to 10% of our wealth in cash, others recommend holding enough cash to meet 6 months of expenses – I think Bill will be fine for a bit more than 6 months.

4. El Chapo

Keeping the ill-gotten gains of drug dealing in cash is a practical rather than asset allocation decision which makes estimating net worth almost impossible. Mexican drug cartel boss El Chapo may have as much as $14 billion in cash but police haven’t found a single dollar yet.

3. “Mexican Drug Lord”

Although the shy and retiring owner remains anonymous, the $22 billion cash hoard of this “Mexican Drug Lord” has to be included if only for the police photographs that show how difficult it is to hide so much cash.

2. Pablo Escobar

The Columbian ‘narco’ died with an estimated $25 billion in cash hidden away. When you’re spending $2,500 a month on rubber bands for your stacks, I think we can safely say you’re holding too much cash.

1. Apple

Yes this is a company not an individual but Apple’s $285 billion cash stockpile is a record for any corporation, ever. After moving the lolly from Ireland to Jersey in 2014 for, er, tax reasons, it may soon be heading back home if Donald Trump gets his way.